An Introduction to LGBTQIA+ Group Sex (AKA Orgies)
Today we’re going to take a quick little detour from what mainstream media considers the norm and we’re going to have a 101 one in lesbian, gay, and bi orgies. If you’ve ever thought about getting involved in group sex, than you’ve probably tried to do a few searches for it… and found nothing but porn videos instead of actual, concrete tips to help you figure out the do’s and don’t’s of having fun at your first orgy.
What happens at a Gay/Bi Orgy
Every sex party that you go too is going to be drastically different, and that can make it a little hard to get prepared for it that very first time. Some parties have a lot of talk before hand, where all of the guests are sat down in a circle to introduce themselves, say what they’re into, and say what they’re looking for when it comes to that night’s escapades. These parties are the sort that have what’s known as a moderator; this is a person that you can go and speak with if you feel unsafe or if someone is harassing you. If someone is being a creep, they get kicked out.
And then there are parties at the other end of the spectrum, where asking ahead of time is frowned upon, the focus is on total anonymity, and typically rougher escapades. Some parties have explicit rules where all the ‘submissive’ or ‘receiving’ attendees have to leave their clothes at the door and agree to be receptive to anyone’s advances. Some take it a few steps further and have those looking to get fucked where blindfolds and stay in one spot, waiting for someone to come by. Depending on your sexual interests, this either sounds incredibly hot or downright terrifying.
Basically, there is a different sort of sex party for pretty much any interest that you can come up with. Recognizing the diversity of the sex party options out there is important both to figuring out which type you want to attend and in making sure you have an excellent time.
Your first time at an Gay or Bi Orgy
If it’s your first time ever attending a sex party, you’re going to want to hit up one of the more laid back, social types of events. This will help you figure out your own preferences for how you like to be taken when it comes to strangers, and how far into things you actually want to get. To find one of those nights, simply Google “sex clubs [in your city].” From there, you’ll likely find a list of sex clubs. Go to each club’s site, see what the deal with membership is, and then head to their events page to see a list of their upcoming parties. If this is an official play party, there will be clear rules about what you should wear, how you should behave, how to specifically ask for consent, and what happens if you break the rules.
Get familiar with these so you won’t be caught off guard. A number of mixed-gender play parties won’t let single men attend by themselves. Even if they don’t mandate having someone, I highly recommend you attend with a partner. This way you always have a close friend, someone you trust, to turn too if you get nervous! Speaking of, you should absolutely have your own personal boundaries. Pick these out before you show up so you don’t get swept up in the atmosphere and do something, like drinking too much, that you regret later. Be firm with yourself – you can always change your rules at the next party!
Most of all, the goal is to have fun. If you get there and decide that an orgy just isn’t the scene for you, then there’s literally no shame in turning around and leaving – at any point in the night! It’s not been a waste of time, it’s been you testing out an experience. And just like with any other hobby, you’re allowed to decide that it’s not the right experience for you and that you would rather be elsewhere.
When it comes to orgies, no matter your gender or sexual preference, the goal is to just enjoy yourself. If that’s not happening? Leave.